Gastblogger Carolina krijgt vaak opmerkingen en vragen over haar keuze voor maar één kind. Op haar onovertroffen wijze geeft ze haar mening.
While listening to some more glamour-rock on a Belgian sunny day, (you heard it! Belgium skipped crisis and bought itself a SUN!) a thought popped up, triggered by Guns&Roses sweet-child-of-mine: “Do you only have one child?” I get this often.
As if having one kid was equivalent to having one eye, one kidney, one leg or one ovary. It seems children need to come by minimum two – however the most important body organs are “single : heart, brain & sex ;-)
But in the motherhood world, mother of one son is a kind of “handicap” status (wonder whether there are any subsidies for that – mental note for “’t Stad”). The next predictable move is a comment to redeem my sin, uhh? – what did I do wrong?! And here come in two types (again we are working by pairs):
The ones that show “pity” and wonder how you manage the “loneliness” of your child. This is just like asking someone their weight to afterwards add up that fat people are fashionable. WHO says I’m FAT?!
And the ones that want to give you “solutions” and suggest or wonder whether you want a second child . This is again, just like asking someone their weight to afterwards tip them with a wonderful “loose-weight-in-two-days diet”. WHO says I need to go on a DIET?!
People try to extrapolate their prototype of happiness & perfection and lack imagination to understand that others are happy just as they are. Why should I wonder if my son is happy being an “only child”?
Do other parents ask their children whether they are happy having only brothers or only sisters or being the youngest or being the oldest, being small, being tall?
Never mind, I had once the question of a mom, who was worried about her child’s length being under de percentile, wondering if I had have issues in my life for the fact of being small ( I’m 1,57 cm) .. duh? Did you have issues in your life for being “blond”?!
In Spanish we have a say: You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. My son chose for some family to be his friends and for some friends to be his family; not all live under the same roof but all of them have a place in his heart.
Besides, we have skype, whatsapp, facebook, twitter….stop! stop! I need some time and space!
There you go… the luxury of today is having some time “alone” to think, imagine, create ..
And now back to sweeeeet-chiiiiild-of-miiiiiine!!!- on headphones, let’s keep this to myself ;-)
More on Carolina on www.carolinatafalla.com